"Because of my faith, I found out that I was queer. Because of my faith, I had the courage to come out."
Tell me about your faith background.
I believe that having faith means having a direct relationship with the Divine (God), and it is something distinct from adhering to a particular religion. Organized religion is a human-made structure designed to help people with faith, but it also comes with other human-made challenges. We can see that many traumas and struggles in human history have been influenced by religions that have become too powerful and sought to control people. My faith practice is to believe in the single divinity that is God, and to embrace my ancestry as a God-given blessing.
Religion is a choice - at any given moment, I can choose to have a different religion. Ancestry is not a choice, and it is divine. God made me Korean, a diaspora Korean living in the States. God created me with all the blessings and imperfections as a unique being. So, having faith in the single divinity while honoring and praying with my ancestors is very important. Regardless of your chosen religion or faith tradition, you can incorporate ancestral work to deepen your faith in a Higher Power.
What is Korean Shamanism and what does it mean to be a Korean American Shaman?
Korean shamanism is what remains of Korea’s indigenous faith tradition, dating back more than 5,000 years. Our indigenous ancestors believed in a single divinity called YulYeo, a sound wave or non-human energy, from which everything in the universe originated. This Source energy can also be referred to as Divine, God, Creator, and other names in various cultures and traditions.
Korean shamans (mudangs) were chosen by their ancestors to serve as intermediaries, facilitating the relationship between the spirit world and the human world. As a Korean shaman, I'm someone who can encourage and deliver the divine truth, that God is love and that energy lives within all of us. My team of ancestral guides helps me assist others with healing, wisdom, divination, and prayers, with the goal of deepening their faith in God.
Korean shamans are there to help people live happier, more authentic lives. If there is any wound, we want to help you heal. If there's any blessing needed, we want you to receive the blessing. If there are any blocks, we want to help remove them. We want people to start living in greater harmony with the Source, as well as with all the ancestors who surround them.
I prefer to call myself a Korean-American shaman because my diaspora identity is integral to my work. I don’t believe we were meant to apply the current shamanic traditions practiced in Korea by Korean people into our lives in the USA, for example. I think it is essential to practice our faith in our unique way.
How has your faith influenced your coming out process?
I feel like because of my faith, I found out that I was queer. I had no idea I was queer, but my ancestral guides were showing me visions and kept pushing me toward it. Our ancestors want us to live a happier, more authentic, more aligned life. Because of my faith, I had the courage to come out.
When I did come out, everything lined up better for me. I had a lot of fears around losing everything I had built in my 40+ years with coming out, but in reality, everything got better. I had leaned into the ancestral guidance to live my truth, and I got rewarded with stronger shamanic powers, more opportunities to build my work, and an even bigger and more supportive community. Now I am in a marriage that really believes in my work as a shaman, and my new queer family definitely receives a lot of benefits for being married to a shaman! Faith can help you find your true identity at almost 50. My faith helped me to come out and realize my identity.
How did you know you were loved by the divine?
Remember YulYeo, the source energy my indigenous ancestors believed in? That God energy is a universal energy; it is not human or gendered. It is not some masculine deity that judges, demands, and punishes people. This energy is in everything and everywhere, and the energy with the closest vibration to god is the energy of love. So I agree with the Bible that says God is love.
If we came from this YulYeo, from this Source energy that is God and that is Love, then, of course, God loves me, right? You are asking this question because you may think God is an external being, something outside of you. This external being, which is God, has to decide whether to love you or not. However, consider that you are already God’s creation and Love’s creation; you are the same material as God and Love. Then, you will never question if God loves you.
Do you have any scripture or sacred texts that you connect to?
Budoji is an ancient text that preserves the mythology and stories of the universe's creation, humanity's origins, and the first tribal culture that gave rise to the indigenous ancestors of the Korean people. I published the first English translation of these ancient stories. I also try to read writings by other faith leaders with whom I feel aligned on the message of love, compassion, and faith. I love writings by Thich Nhat Hanh and Yogananda. I sometimes read the Bible too, especially the stories of compassion, forgiveness, deep faith, and love.
Budoji is an ancient text that preserves the mythology and stories of the universe's creation, humanity's origins, and the first tribal culture that gave rise to the indigenous ancestors of the Korean people. I published the first English translation of these ancient stories. I also try to read writings by other faith leaders with whom I feel aligned on the message of love, compassion, and faith. I love writings by Thich Nhat Hanh and Yogananda. I sometimes read the Bible too, especially the stories of compassion, forgiveness, deep faith, and love.
What advice would you have for other queer people of faith, especially Korean American or Korean diaspora folks?
Oh, I have a lot to share!
I think the biggest thing is that you need to commit yourself to having a relationship with God. You can have mentors, elders, and teachers; having a religion, you can go to church and listen to the pastor; but if you want to have faith, you need to start having a direct relationship with God. That is prayer, meditation, quiet time - whatever you call it - a dedicated, committed practice to connect with God. That's praying, reading scripture, seeking wisdom, and NOT blindly following or seeking another human to be the replacement for that relationship.
Number one, have a committed, dedicated spiritual practice to build a direct relationship with God.
Number two, love yourself - remember god is love? So, if we can’t love ourselves, I am not connected to God within me. So, work on loving ourselves first.
Number three, love others - now we can channel that love within ourselves to love others.
Number four, find divine harmony in chaos, because the world is crazy, ya know? There is no way we are going to have a perfection of all things - human life in this crazy world can feel like a total shit show, but we can still find moments of peace and harmony with our faith practice.
Number five, slow way down. Everything is moving so fast, and we often leave the connection to the Divine, our bodies, and we live a numb, automated life, like in the movie The Matrix. To leave the matrix, you need to find yourself again, and slowing way down helps with that. When we slow down, we can notice the moments of connection with God, Love.
Especially for Queer people of Korean diaspora, you are not alone. There are many of us, but we are spread out all over and often feel like we are the only ones. Our queerness, our Korean ancestry, our bodies, our souls, our entire beings and identities are creations of God/Love. We all have ancestors around us who want to help us live our most authentic, true, and joyful lives. With God and ancestors on your back, you are never alone! And I am always praying for you as well.
Mago Blessings!